I am back (Part 2)

I must admit that i was confused and excited at the same time. We decided that we are going ahead with adoption, our babies will grow as twins. The scan date arrive i couldn't believe that i was back at Vitalab but this time I was pregnant. Dr J did the scan and lo and behold the was no heart beat. I could see on Dr J eyes that something was wrong. It was the worst day of my life, I couldn't believe that it was happening again for the Fifth time. I wanted to scream to someone, I wanted to swear or do something bad. God how can this happen to us again, we where ready to move on but why now. It seems like someone is punishing us for what I am not a bad person i never ever hurt people. I am not saying I am saint but i not bad either I try helping people, i try showing some kindness. In that period i started having doubt on my faith to God, the worst part it was December 2010. I was not even sure that i want a baby anymore. We didn't plan any vacation that year but we decide to go to Namibia, it was good for us.

I am back

It has been almost four years since i last wrote something, anyway i decided to do the writing again. Where do i start the so much that i need to download so much has happen these past years. Finally in 2009 we decided to move back to Pretoria and after a lot of house hunting we finally found the house that we loved we moved there in August 2009, i must say that was the best decision we ever made ever. In that year i got the taste of being a house wife, the business was not doing well at all it was dry for about Six months. I used to stay home and stare at the computer it was a very dark period of my life. I thought coming back to Pretoria will rekindle most of the friendship that was build over the years while growing up in Pretoria but i realised that most of the people has moved on all of my friends had two or three children, and me none? Any way it was a very lonely four months, I was broke, no friends and still facing an infertility. Early January 2010 my HB surprised me with a week holiday to Drakensberg, it was i great gateway and during my holiday i received two appointment letters for work and we made a big decision to start with adoption process. I was so excited the thought of having a baby gave me goose bump. Between January and May I was so busy with the 2010 World cup project so our adoption process where put on hold. It was exciting time for me everything was going well with the business . After the world cup we started the adoption process by September all the paper work was done and the waiting started it was a long Seven months of my life but wait in November 2010 i found out that i was pregnant can you imagine the shock. Here I am waiting for the placement of my baby but now i am pregnant unplanned and unexpected.