Update on house hunting

Sjoe i can't believe how difficult it is to find our ideal house. SO far we have viewed close to 50 houses yes you heard right 50 houses .We know that we wouldn't find our dream house but something that we can work on of course with a good price

80% of the house we view was terrible, i am sorry to say but some people taste ha!!!!!15% was workable but with small stands, we need atleast 1000sqm and only 5% suits us best. So far only two houses that we are interested on and the problem is the prices they are out of budget by R200k and R300k. House "A" that we definitely want to buy the seller is not under pressure to sell so not sure if the will accept the offer that is less by R200k. House "B" the seller is in financial strain the agent thinks that He will look at the lower offer, i did a deed search on the property the owner owes more than what we are prepare to offer.I spoke to the agent this morning about an offer to House "A" that we are prepare to give and she said i must put it in writing. I am hoping that the Seller will accept the offer. I am really tired of This and soon we will be homeless.

Health Clinic

On Sunday I had an interesting conversation with one of pregnant ladies from the church. She told me that she has been TTC for 11yrs and she tried everything and nothing worked( She was diagnosed with unexplained infertility) until she tried a health clinic in Soweto and after three months of treatment she conceived and she due this month.

Three years ago I made a promise to myself that i am not going to run around looking for a miracle workers as i did in the past but after hearing this i decide that let me try it because at the moment i doing a project in Soweto and it is on my way. Yesterday I had my appointment , they use Iridology
for diagnosis. They discovered that i have clots in my womb which prevent enough blood flow in my womb. Afterwards i was did in a detox machine and then,the nice part was the body massage. I was given about seven bottle of different herbs and the follow up appointment is in four weeks.

Update!!!!

Nothing much has happen since my last post i was working a lot, i don't even believe that all the long weekends has past without me enjoying them. I am so happy that things are now back to normal.

We are still hunting house, i can't believe how the property value has dropped it is a good time to buy. So we have decided not to rush into buying, the transfer of our current house will take place in about six weeks. This weekend we are viewing 4 properties and 2 bank repos so we will probably make an offer.As soon as we have sorted out the house thing we will start the adoption process.

Changes in POA

Lot of things has happened this month but i haven't had much time to blog. The good news is that we got an offer on our property, so we are moving back to Pretoria i am so happy.

AF was due on Wednesday and yesterday she showed her ugly face in the early hours, the go my hopes for this cycle. Initially we decided that we will do another IVF this month but yesterday after a long chat with DH we decided not to go ahead. At this stage we are so busy early this month we got a big project, starting a new project it is very stressful that is why we are putting it on hold. Last year before we started with IVF DH wanted us to change clinics but i didn't want to do that because i love Vitalab but now i think is time for change. We have been with VL for over 3yrs now i will really miss them especially Dr J. We are thinking of finding a FS in Pretoria i know the are two clinics or more but i still do need some recommendations.

For now will continue with adoption process , i don't think the waiting list is that long for black babies.

Happy Birthday Sweetie

To Oarona,

Wishing you a very happy day. I pray for you that God bless you with Divine Health and a sound mind. B and I love you so much you will always be our little girl.

From Here..

Since our failed IVF DH and I haven't have talked, so this past weekend we went to the farm to relax and talk. Every time i am from the farm i feel like a brand new person. I am so relaxed.

So DH and I we talked about the POA,we decided that we will go ahead IVF next month will probably start with BCP in two weeks time provided that I am not pregnant(Ha Ha a girl can't stop hoping). Here are my POA's:
1. Eating Healthy
2. Drinking my 2,5 liters
3. Drinking Vitamins( I hate pills)
4. Exercising
5. Try Acupuncture
6. Lots of prayers and meditations

The other interesting topic that come up was adoption, i am glad that DH raised it because i didn't want to raise it because we did adopt at one stage and things didn't go well after a year she went back to BM. DH didn't want us to adopt at that time but i insisted. We will be starting the adoption process soon , i am so excited.

My faith in God

This past week i was asking myself questions lots of why's , it was too hard for me to understand why I got BFN because i did everything right prayed, confessed and even gave up coffee. All these past Seven years what kept me sane was my faith to God, i know he loves me and he wants best for me. Always when things get tough i get comfort from Him, he is my strength and my refugee. When i speak to him it seems like he understand best.

I spend most of yesterday talking to God and you know what i am feeling much better and i have made peace with the failed IVF. I though about the farmer, he will sow a seed on the ground and when the time/season is right he will reap the harvest. So i know when the time is right i will also have my children. The bible says "the shall be no barren in thine land". I believe the word of God, because it is true and it will come pass in my life.

One of these days my life will be the testimony of the Grace of God.

What now....

So yesterday i went to my follow up appointment with Dr J, we spent more than an hour with him but to tell you the truth it seems like most of the questions are still not answered. Basically Dr J said they will only have answers if we do another IVF. We got 12 eggs of which 9 fertilized which was fantastic news but the problem started after day 3, 7 eggs did not grow further. Even though we have 2 excellent embies but that does not exclude the issue of eggs quality. Again maybe it is just we had a bad bunch of eggs and next cycle it wouldn't happen. I hate this maybe things i need some answer. He also suggest that for our next cycle we use donor sperms for some eggs just to see the different between DH and donor.

So he have a lot to think about, especially coming to the issue of donor sperm, in my head the is this voice that what if we go ahead with donor sperm and we got the better quality than DH sperm what then...

DH wants us to do the next cycle right away but to tell the truth i am not sure if i am ready yet. I am still feeling sorry for myself my heart is so sore, i have been eating like a pig which make things worse. I just which that i can sleep away this problem.

Why it has to be so hard, to make thing worst my mother in law is now on our case. she has been suggesting that we go to see the Inyanga(traditional healer) , now she is pushing the issue. I am willing to do everything to have children but traditional healers is a NO NO.

BIG FAT NEGATIVE

Yesterday i tested and it was negative. I am going to see Dr J tomorrow and will see what is POA(plan of actions) Thank you Shaz, Lizzy, Nina, Lindi, Kholiwe, Ina, Isabel,Angie and Magda for all you support. May the good God continue to bless you all.

Spotting

I started spotting this afternoon and immediatly i did HPT and it came -tive. So the PMS was i sign that AF was on her way, i am going for blood test tomorrow morning not looking forward to more needles. I

Believe it or not

I have't POAS it has been 12 days since ET, ok today it did cross my mind to do it but I didn't. When i started the IVF process i promise myself that i will only POAS on the day of blood test. Thank you so much for all the sms and emails, in the beginning i wasn't sure if it was a good idea to tell people that i know but I am happy that i did your support means so much to me. I am just surprise that you're unable to post responds, I am not really an expert in this computer thing so sorry i can't help there .

My blood test is schedule for Thursday(26). Today AF is due so awake up with full force of PMS, not sure if it really PMS on it is i my mind. I am trying not read anything from it.

The reason that i have't POAS is that these past 3 yrs the HPT's has played mind games with me.
1. The was this one time AF was late about 2 days and i did the HPT it was + and after 3hrs AF showed up .
2. In 2007 and 2008 i did 3 AI's in all of them i got + in HPT but come test day AF just showed up
3. Last December my IVF was cancelled due to over stimulation, AF was suppose to arrive mid January and a week later i tested with 3 different brands and guess what all of them was positive and the following day AF arrived

So you see want i mean about POAS, it seems like i trigger AF if i do them. I know some of you wanted to know how much it cost me for IVF . At the Clinic I payed just under R32K plus R4k for Meds from Dischem so all in all i payed R36k which including R7,8k for IVIG( the drip that i needed because DH and I share Similar antigens) if it was not for the IVIG i should have spend just under R29k. The bloods was covered by MA about R1k.,i did alot of blood test because i was closely monitored.

Exactly three years....

I was looking at my 2006 diary this morning and i had an 7 wks scan appointment. I can clearly remember that day i was so happy looking forward on seeing my baby but my happiness did not last for long. When i saw the expression on the Dr G i knew that something was wrong. The heart beat was there but the growth was behind by almost 2 wks. Exactly 4 days i started bleeding and the scan revealed that the baby has past on.

I was so angry with the myself and the Drs. , i remember when i went for DC i did want to wake up. It was so hard felt like a failure. We later on find out that DH and I share similar antigens. We were so relieved and started TTC immediately and ........ still no Babies.

Only two Embies made it to ET...

ET went well this morning, yesterday when i phoned the clinic they told me that all nine embies are doing well so this morning i was shocked to hear that only two have divided nicely. So we transferred two . "I am officially pregnant with twins" i have name them Seetja(means Light) and Tefo( Reward). Call me crazy but i am stay optimistic and positive that they will continue to develop to beautiful babies.

My nine Babies are doing well

Yippe my babies are doing well(OK i know they are called embryos at this stage ). I have to report to VL tomorrow morning for possible ET. I was so happy to just hear that my babies are doing well i didn't even ask about grading.

9 Fertilised

Yesterday i had ER and we harvested 12 eggs, i am giving God the glory for the nine that fertilised. I have to phone tomorrow to find out the progress.

Trigger tonight

So far so good with the IVF process, i am doing the trigger thing tonight. I am not really sure about the no. of follicles i have. Last Sunday when i did my first scan i had 11 bigger follicles, i was not really paying a lot of attention since then. I just told myself that if the Dr is happy i am happy. This time i made a promise to myself that i am not going to worry a lot but pray a lot .

On Thursday i had IVIG drip because DH and I share similar antigens which was the cause of my miscarriages. It was long four hours atleast hubby was there to keep me come company.

Thank God i am done with the injections.

Day 2 of Stims

IVF process has officially started, my first injection was yesterday. I am so praying hard that this is it for us, it has to be. I am still maintaining my confession that THIS IVF IS A SUCCESS. I am giving everything that i have for this, i am using my stubborn faith to receive my miracle babies.

I know that if you're reading this you think that i am not realistic considering the fact that the success rates of IVF is about 40%. In my life i have always had plan B that if this doesn't work i will do this. This time i don't have a plan B , i am using my faith to make this to be a success. Faith make things to be possible.

Where is AF

I was hoping that AF will arrive today because this is my third day since i finished the BCP. Last time it came exactly on day 3 , i was really hoping that if it arrive today and tomorrow i will go to VL for scan. I really hate the traffic during the week and i am not a morning person.

Waiting Patiently.......for AF

My last BCP was yesterday , i am now waiting for AF . Strange enough i never thought in my life that i will wait or be happy to see her.

This time around i am so emotionally prepared for IVF, I feel peace about the whole process . Last time was very different it seems like i am doing something wrong which was not according to God's will for me. I know about four people personally who did IVF and i never had a problem with them doing it and I even prayed for them but for me it was different it seems like i was playing God or doing something that is against to God's will.

The whole of January i did a lot of praying and studying about Infertility God's way. I am so happy that AF took about seven weeks to arrive because it gave me time to come in terms with everything and to know the purpose of God about my life.

The bible says" We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I believed, and therefore have I spoken, we also believe, and therefore Speak" 2 Cor 4:13

So I going to speak here it goes " I DECLARE THAT MY IVF IS A SUCCESS"

So Sad....

My SIL phoned me yesterday to tell me that her DH wants a divorce it is so sad. I always knew that this will happen one day but i thought the other way around, the guy never showed love or respect to my SIL . I wouldn't get in to details but my SIL is so hurt she really loved the guy.

It has been long...

Sjoe i don't believe how time has flown, i was so busy i didn't have time to post anything. So a lot of things has happened.

After my cancelled IVF it took for ever for AF to arrived so i did three HPT which came out +tive but very faint, Boom AF arrived. Started with BCP on the 29 January the last pill is on Wednesday then i will start with second round of IVF. This time around they have reduce the Menopur to 3 amp a day instead of 4 amp last time. I am doing Cetrotite instead of Lucrin.

Strange enough but i am still enjoying the gym, for last month i lost 23 cm all over my body. When i did the assessment i only needed to lose 14cm , about 10cm in my hips but in that department i only lost 4cm, so i need to work on my Hips.

My friend that got married in December she is pregnant, yes she is. She was pregnant before she got married but she didn't tell me a thing. Just before the wedding she gained a lot of weight, i didn't think that she was pregnant it didn't even cross my mind. Now she ignoring me, i know she feel guilty because we are Christians NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE. I will not judge her, no one is perfect and God is Just to forgive our sins. I just wish that as a friend she could have told me something but she just ignoring me always in a hurry. We see each other at church and unfortunately she can't hide it because she looks like five to six months pregnant. My DH said i must leave it if she want to tell me she will come to me.

Gym here I come!!

Today will be my first day at gym, never been in a gym before. I am just happy that is only 30 minutes. I really need some displine in that department of keeping fit. Yesterday i did figure analysis need to lose 14 cm and 5% body fat. My BMI is ok .

New year, New beginnings

Sjoe I am so happy that 2008 is gone that was really bad year for me, I trust 2009 will be better that 2009. This is my seventh year in marriage, seven is the number of completeness and perfection. I trust that my family will be complete this year.

My resolution for this year is to be happy, be fulfil in every area of my life. I am not going to allow guilt to consume me like it did over the years especially last year. Everyday of 2009 i am going to remind myself that this is not my fault, i didn't do anything wrong to deserve this. Here is to a happy 2009!!!

Today i joined the gym, i really need to keep fit and healthy this year. After my cancelled IVF in December i found comfort in food and gained 3kg. Luckily i lost 2kg during my year end fast so atleast i don't need to work very hard in weight loss just being healthy.