I am back (Part 2)

I must admit that i was confused and excited at the same time. We decided that we are going ahead with adoption, our babies will grow as twins. The scan date arrive i couldn't believe that i was back at Vitalab but this time I was pregnant. Dr J did the scan and lo and behold the was no heart beat. I could see on Dr J eyes that something was wrong. It was the worst day of my life, I couldn't believe that it was happening again for the Fifth time. I wanted to scream to someone, I wanted to swear or do something bad. God how can this happen to us again, we where ready to move on but why now. It seems like someone is punishing us for what I am not a bad person i never ever hurt people. I am not saying I am saint but i not bad either I try helping people, i try showing some kindness. In that period i started having doubt on my faith to God, the worst part it was December 2010. I was not even sure that i want a baby anymore. We didn't plan any vacation that year but we decide to go to Namibia, it was good for us.